Teen Titan Diaries
by The Diaries Guild
Summary: Due to a spell gone horribly right, Authors find themselves in the bodies of Superheros. Amidst them are the authors of the Diaries series. Teen Titans, like you've never seen them before. Recently Added : Chapter 3 and 4
1. Chapter 1 : Teen Titans?

Titans Diaries  
  
by The Diaries Guild  
  
with Original Concept by Shaun Garin and Co.  
  
Teen Titans is owned by DC and the animated series by Kids WB.  
  
====================  
  
Chapter 1 : Teen Titans?  
  
====================  
  
Titan Tower. A place of relative sanity and what not. In the peaceful and rather strange T shaped structure, slept 5 various teenagers with extraordanary powers. Each with their own strengths and weaknesses, they work as a team that has unshakable foundations in trust and common sense.  
  
Today, however, the fine line between normal every day wierdness and uncommon wierdness will be overstepped.  
  
====================  
  
In a room, slept a green boy.  
  
The boy was dubbed Garfield Logan, a boy who by all purposes, was too lanky and thin for his own good. It seemed to the casual onlooker that without any other upper body strength to him, that he would be the weakest of the team. He slept soundly, muttering things such as "Star? You shouldn't have," and "Ooh Raven, there's enough BB for both of you."  
  
Suddenly, a high pitched piercing scream rent the air. Garfield Logan, otherwise known as Beast Boy, awoke with a yelp and slammed his head on the bunk roof.  
  
Beast Boy saw stars for the brief second before he muttered and rubbed his head. "Damnit, isn't there anything that'll keep the floormates quiet?" He grumbled and pulled the sheets over his head.  
  
A moment later, Beast Boy blinked and opened his eyes. "Wait a damn minute, this isn't my room."  
  
Looking around the darkened room, it was covered in various refuse and unwashed and washed laundry. To the side, a tv sat, the screen displaying a game in pause mode. Beast Boy sat up and rubbed his head as he bumped his head again on the roof. "Where the heck am I?"  
  
Sliding off the bunk, he stumbled towards a blank wall which whizzed open with a hiss of compressed air. "What the?"  
  
Rubbing his head, he looked at the hand that rubbed the bump and goggled. "Green? Green skin?" More tugging and a disrobing of the shirt proclaimed the boy to be completely green.  
  
Beast Boy's eyes went wide as he looked in the nearby window. His reflection showed a green skinned mug, topped with dark green hair and slightly enlarged canines of the mouth. A jaw dropped and eyes went wide. "No way," the boy whispered.  
  
A second later, another yell rent the air.  
  
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
====================  
  
At the impromptu wake up call of a loud feminine scream, Cyborg jumped out of his workbench bed, looking rather cheesed off. "What, who, where?"  
  
At that moment, the scream died down and Cyborg grumbled. "Great, someone is screaming on the floor again. Just what I needed."  
  
Tiredness kicking in, Cyborg turned towards his bed, and squinted at the workbench. Peering at it and blinking rapidly several times to dislodge the sleep that clouded his eyes, Cyborg muttered, "Where the heck is the bed? Was I sleeping on that?"  
  
One arm came up to scratch his head but it stopped halfway to his head. A jaw dropped as he saw a dark skinned arm encased in blue and silver metal. "What the?!"  
  
Then, he saw his reflection in his arm.  
  
"No... way," said Cyborg, staring at his arm in shock. "This is too wierd to be normal." Cyborg flopped onto the workbench and winced at the cold. "I'll just sleep the day away, and forget something like this occoured."  
  
As Cyborg sighed and closed his eyes, another yell split the air. This one however sounded more enthusiastic. Growling, Cyborg got out of bed, his red eye glowing. "Someone is going to DIE." He then stomped out of the room, not heeding the reflection that stared back at him inexplicably.  
  
====================  
  
Raven was typically up in the early part of the morning. So it was a strange thing to see the girl sleeping in that morning.  
  
As the first scream pierced the air, Raven moaned and sat up, rubbing her eyes. "What in the world is that," she said, her voice low and husky. "Ugh... what time is it?"  
  
A glance around the room was an unfamiliar sight. It was decorated in shades of blue and black, and sported strangely shaped furniture. Raven blinked twice and then looked at her hands. Reaching up to her face, she checked it over and paled. "Oh dear."  
  
Getting out of bed, she crossed the room to the mirror where she found her reflection staring at her. Touching the image in the mirror, her eyes were wide and worried. "This can't be happening."  
  
Outside her bedroom door, someone yelled, "Wha-hoo!" loudly. Raven grumbled, held her head and walked out of the room, pausing to grab a cloak. She didn't notice the chair melting under her own adgitation as she left the room in search for the screamers.  
  
=====================  
  
Robin was definately a light sleeper. You had to be to function on very few hours of sleep when patrolling with Batman back in Gotham City.  
  
It was an odd occourance to see him sleeping like a log, without a care in the world. His mask was still fastened to his face, but was half slipping off. His cape was discarded to the side and his boots sat next to his bedside table.  
  
When the first scream could be heard all over Titan Tower, the Boy Wonder grumbled but did not get up at the shout, only deeming to utter, "Damn dog." When the second one hit the airwaves, Robin growled loudly and sat up. "Stupid dog, what does she want THIS time?"  
  
His vision blurry from sleep, Robin instinctively adjusted his mask as if they were glasses and stumbled out of the room. Then, he shambled out of the room towards into a hallway that lead towards a gathering place. The smell of breakfast wafted down the hall, presumably prepared. And damn, could he use some caffine. And someone to maul this early in the morning.  
  
=====================  
  
"Urgh, crick, neck, hurt," said Starfire as she straightened up her head. For some reason, the Tamerian princess slept with her feet and head draped over the side of the singular round bed. Sitting up, she massaged her neck, wincing as kinks formed due to the movement.  
  
Stumbling to her feet, she pushed the door open as it slid open. Blinking blearily for a moment, Starfire meandered down to the washroom where she closed the door behind herself and sat down on the toilet.  
  
A second later, Starfire's eyes went wide in horror as full awareness came to her. Looking down, she let out the only thing she could think of. A long, sorrow filled, heart wrenching scream of agony.  
  
"It's gone! It's gone, oh my Ra, it's gone!" Starfire wailed as she panicked on the john. "I.... wait, why is my voice higher? These aren't my fingers!"  
  
Getting to her feet, she looked herself in the mirror and gaped. Gone were the dark lashes and curly black hair. In its place was long silky red hair and under it, a slender frame that housed a rather impressive if slender muscleculture. She reached up to her chest and squeezed. She winced at the rough grabbing. Yep, that was there.  
  
Starfire checked under her nightgown. Yep, they were there and it was gone.  
  
Thought processes came to her, all of them rather impossible. But when you were open to things like this, something like this wasn't too far off the mark. But first, panic time.  
  
"OH MY FUCKING RA, I'M A GIRL!" Starfire shrieked, waving her arms in adgitation. Then, soberness came to her instantly as she sighed and sagged against the wall.  
  
"I can't deal with this half asleep," Starfire muttered, pushing the shower door open. "I need a long shower. And try to stave off the impulse to drown myself." One hand reached out and opened up the hot and cold water.  
  
As she got into the shower, Starfire heard a high masculine voice yell "WHA- HOO!" outside the door as it trailed off as if running down the hall. "Glad something is having fun," Star said with a sigh.  
  
===================  
  
A green spotted jaguar raced down the halls, his legs pumping underneath him. Inwardly, since the jaguar could not talk, he yelled happily as he skidded around the corner and nearly slammed into a six foot grumpy half metal boy. The metal guy stared down angrily at the jaguar who blinked up at him. "You, die, now," the man said, holding out his arm.  
  
The jaguar immediately shifted into Beast Boy who yelled, "Don't blast me, Cyborg!" while doing a credible imitation of a Meerkat flinch.  
  
Cyborg still had a death glare, but lowered his arm. "You're damn lucky I can't figure out how to get this thing to work." He punched his arm but it did not change into the Sonic Cannon. "Damnit, work already!"  
  
Beast Boy scratched his head. From what he knew of Cyborg, malfunctions wern't really much of a problem. But something was... off. "Cyborg? You feeling okay?"  
  
"No I'm not okay!" Cyborg growled. "I'm about this close to pulling a Shaun and Stabdoken something!" An evil glint came into his eyes. "You'll do nicely."  
  
"Okay," Beast Boy said backpedalling wildly, "Who are you and what have you done with Cyborg? You're acting really wierd today. And wait... you know Shaun?"  
  
"Talk later, maul now." Cyborg growled, cracking metal joints.  
  
"Wait! I, uh...." Beast Boy shifted into a large beaked bird and started to dive bomb Cyborg who cursed wildly and tried to smack the bird out of the air.  
  
"What the hell is this?" Cyborg cursed as the bird connected with his head.  
  
Beast Boy shifted back and said, "That, was a Ternsmack."  
  
"What the hell? Ternsmack? Ryan, is that you in there?" Cyborg demanded, holding up Beast Boy by the front of his shirt. "Cause I'm gonna cut off your head and see if terns act like Chickens!"  
  
Cyborg then laid into Beast Boy, kicking up a cloud of dust with arms, legs and heads popping out of the cloud with the occasional transformation and the sounds of a least tern attacking. From the hallway, Robin stumbled into the room, rubbing his eyes from behind his mask. "What's going on?" he asked sleepily.  
  
"Can't talk, killing Zoo Boy here," Cyborg said in mid swing as the cloud dissapated.  
  
The tern then smacked him on the head with its overlarge beak to which Cyborg exclaimed, "That's it!" And began the whole struggle all over again.  
  
Robin sighed. "Have fun killing each other."  
  
"Wait, hold on a sec." Beast Boy tossed Cyborg off of him. "Are you someone we know?"  
  
Robin raised an eyebrow but said, "You were a large beaked bird and Cyborg isn't acting the way he's supposed to canon-wise. Let me hazard a guess here : Ryan and Canis?"  
  
"Got it in one," said Cyborg, still grumpy and ready to kill something. "And you're obviously either Shaun, Rocker, Archive..."  
  
"The last one," replied Robin. He then shook his head and rubbed it. "I can't think straight without some Mountain Dew."  
  
"I hear that," Cyborg said, heading into the kitchen.  
  
=====================  
  
Raven walked into the living room that housed the kitchen of Titan Tower. After making sure that she wasn't going to kill anyone after melting a few panels and breaking a few lights, Raven had made sure that she wasn't going crazy. After all, it wasn't every day that you went to sleep and found yourself in the body of one of your favorite Superheros.  
  
In the kitchen area, Starfire sat, looking rather despondant. Her hands were curled around a cup of hot chocolate, and several marshmallows floated in it. Raven blinked, despite herself. It wasn't every day one saw the Tameran princess looking so forlorn and lost.  
  
"Something wrong?" Raven asked as she grabbed the teapot and poured herself a cup of strong tea. Inwardly, she hoped that Starfire wouldn't suspect something was wrong with her.  
  
"It's nothing," said Starfire. At this, Raven's eyes narrowed. Starfire spoke formally to her knowledge. Things such as abbreviations were not used daily, if ever.  
  
"Um, all right," said Raven as she sat down and sipped at her tea.  
  
A loud shout came from the door as the male members of the Teen Titans walked out, two of the members arguing loudly. "Starfire, Raven," Robin said politely.  
  
Starfire made a sound in her throat as Raven nodded.  
  
"What's with them?" Beast Boy asked Cyborg. The pair were still covered in bruises from the fight in the hallway.  
  
"I dunno," Cyborg replied, "You feeling like yourselves ladies?"  
  
"If you haven't noticed, we're not ourselves either," Robin pointed out dryly.  
  
"Ah, Archive, master of the Quick Shoot Down," Beast Boy drawled.  
  
Raven startled as she whipped around. "Archive?"  
  
"Ooops," said Beast Boy.  
  
"Nice going Ryan," Cyborg grumbled. "Remind me to kill you later for that."  
  
"I didn't see you stopping me, Canis," shot back Beast Boy.  
  
"Guys, calm down," Robin said, folding his arms.  
  
Raven sighed and massaged her forehead. "Great, just great. You guys are Archive, Canis and Ryan, right?" At their nods, Raven grumbled. "I'm Iapetus."  
  
"Whoa, someone is grumpy today," said Beast Boy. Raven's eyes glowed and a bookcase landed on Beast Boy.  
  
"If you're Raven, then who's Starfire?" said Cyborg.  
  
Everyone looked at Starfire who picked up her mug and tried to head for the door. But she was blocked by Cyborg who said, "You're not leaving until you tell us if you're one of the Diaries writers. Who are you? Misc? Rocker?"  
  
"Get out of the way!" Starfire snapped, trying to push past him. When Cyborg wouldn't budge, Starfire's eyes glowed green as she ignited a Starbolt. "Get out of the Ra be damned way!"  
  
Cyborg was caught off guard at the response and nearly got his head blown off by a Starbolt as Starfire stormed past him.  
  
Beast Boy slithered out from under the bookcase as a snake and returned to normal. "Did I hear what I just heard?"  
  
"I think so," Cyborg said. "And I'm damn sure I know who's in Starfire."  
  
Ryan started to laugh but was stopped by Raven's glare. Raven followed the distraught girl as Robin sighed, went to the fridge, opened it and pulled out a can of Mountain Dew.  
  
"It's going to be a long day," said Robin as he drained the can.  
  
===================  
  
Iapetus found that being Raven came with some unique abilities. One of them was being able to sense emotions. And the way Starfire-Shaun was pouring them out, she could feel them from a mile away.  
  
Clambering up the staircase to the roof, she pushed the door open to see Starfire standing near the edge of the rooftop, staring down at the island base below. "Starfire," Raven said, mentally going over her magic words in case the distraught Tamaran was going to jump.  
  
"I'm not going to jump," said Starfire as she sat down. Iapetus noticed that Star was still clothed in a dressing gown and a nightgown underneath. One hand was clutched around her mug as she drained it. Setting down the mug, Starfire looked across the city and sighed. "Sorry Iap, I'm not myself today."  
  
"That can be explained by the sudden gender change," said Raven as she walked up to stand beside Starfire. "You're not your usual insane self."  
  
"Heh." said Starfire. "But... you're right. I don't let things like this get me down that easily. Even if it is a sudden change of plumbing."  
  
Raven smiled a bit as she said, "Shaun? You seriously going to be all right?"  
  
"Yeah, I will," replied Starfire. Her face drained of all worry as she smiled. "Give me some time alone though, if you can. I'd like to try flying."  
  
"Reach for the Unbrideled Joy," said Raven with a nod. "You already got the Righteous Fury down."  
  
Star blinked and rubbed the back of her head and laughed. "Oh yeah. I hope Canis wasn't hurt. Can you tell him 'sorry for nearly blowing his head off'?"  
  
"I doubt you seriously could have injured Canis," replied Raven as she folded her cloak around herself. "But I'll pass on the message."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
As Raven headed down into the Titan Tower, she noticed Starfire float upwards and then zoom off into the air. "Don't fall," she said with a smile as the door closed behind her.  
  
======================  
  
"If you two are finished casting murderous glares at each other for your interrupted sleep, we need to figure out what's going on." said Robin as he drained his fourth can of Dew. Fortunately, someone in the Titans liked Mountain Dew as the fridge was stocked with it. "First things first; we should check the database, see if there's any sign of problems."  
  
"How do you expect to get into the database, Archive?" Beast Boy reasoned while nursing a bump. He was also savagely attacking a plate of cooked meat that Raven had deemed to cook for them, as the thought of Waffles were out of the question due to a lack of Waffle Irons. "It's gotta be booby-trapped with a lot of passwords."  
  
"If I know Robin, it'll be something we all know." reasoned Robin.  
  
"Slade, Batman, Batgirl...." Cyborg counted off on his fingers as he speared his food on the plate before him. It was real eggs and bacon, stuff that the normal Beast Boy would not touch if he was even forcefed the animal products.  
  
"Starfire," pointed out Raven as she stirred her food around on the plate. "We all know that the series seems to be headed towards a Robin/Starfire coupling."  
  
Robin grinned lecherously, a sight that Cyborg and Beast Boy wished they had a camera for. It wasn't every day that the Boy Wonder acted like a pervert. "There's something I'd like to check for myself." At their looks, Robin smirked. "With the REAL Starfire, not the guy who's inhabiting her body."  
  
"Oh yeah," Beast Boy said, finishing his plate of meat and continuing onto a second one. "There's something we don't want to see."  
  
"Say where is the insane one anyhow?" Cyborg asked. "She, er, he's been gone for a while."  
  
"Shaun went flying around the Tower," said Raven as she finished her own food. "She will be back momentarily."  
  
"You're using female connotation with Shaun, the master of insanity?" Beast Boy asked, smirking. "I'm sure he'd love that."  
  
"As such, Shaun is now Starfire, and we do not know how long she could be her. It is possible to say that we may be in these bodies for a very long time." Raven sipped her tea and continued. "If such, it will be a definate blow to Shaun's masculine persona as her Tamaranean biology will soon dictate what she can and cannot do. It's best to accept it for now."  
  
"Iapetus has a point," said Archive seriously. "We have no idea of the capabilities of these bodies. I know jack shit about martial arts. I'm definately a liability on the battle field. I do have some faint memories of how to use Robin's tech, but other than that..."  
  
"Yeah, I can't even get the Sonic Cannon to work," said Cyborg as he waved his hand dismissively. It formed into the Cannon and formed back into the hand. "I haven't checked the commands yet to activate it. Maybe I have a voice activation code built into me."  
  
"I'm okay with my powers," said Beast Boy as he shifted into various forms before returning to normal. "Um, maybe not in complete control yet."  
  
A set of drawers suddenly melted behind them in a flare of black and white light and they all turned to look at Raven who shrugged. "I don't have the same mental disipline. If anyone needs me, I'm going to try meditation with Raven's magic words."  
  
"Careful you don't blow up the tower," said Beast Boy teasingly.  
  
"I think I can avoid that," said Raven, gathering up her cloak and walking out the door, passing a windswept Starfire who looked a lot more pleased than when she had exited in a rather violent manner.  
  
"Hello everyone," said Starfire cheerfully. "Is everyone undamaged from my temper?"  
  
"Yeah," came the chorus as Starfire sat down and put eggs on her plate.  
  
"Try the bacon," said Beast Boy, stuffing another piece into his mouth.  
  
"I don't eat pork," said Starfire as she helped herself to the various egg dishes on the table. "I'll eat beef though. Pork makes me nauseated. And I don't want to know what might happen with me in control of Starfire's body if I get ill."  
  
"Suit yourself," said Beast Boy. He ate another piece and Starfire looked a bit ill.  
  
"Isn't that enough meat? I'm sure Beast Boy would have a conniption if he found out how much meat his body is ingesting." asked Starfire.  
  
"I'm in control, I like meat." reasoned Beast Boy.  
  
Robin shrugged as he finished up. "I'm going to check my computer. See if I can get through the systems."  
  
"I'm gonna try and get these systems to work for me," said Cyborg as he stood up as well and headed towards the door.  
  
Starfire smiled to herself before she finished her plate. Beast Boy blinked and looked at the plate and said, "Done already?"  
  
"I eat fast," replied Starfire.  
  
==================== 


	2. Chapter 2 : Adjusting?

Titans Diaries  
  
by The Diaries Guild with Original Concept by Shaun Garin and Co.  
  
Teen Titans is owned by DC and the animated series by Kids WB.  
  
====================  
  
Chapter 2 : Adjusting?  
  
====================  
  
Animals were Ryan Griffin's life.  
  
He had spent his childhood surrounded by small animals, visiting zoos and museums, and soaking up books upon books about animals. He had understood the theory of evolution before basic mathematics and could name the Latin names of many creatures before the names of his dormmates.  
  
As such, waking up in the body of Gar Logan, a.k.a. Beast Boy, was every wish come true.  
  
Unfortunately, with the ability to become any animal he wished at whim came with a drawback; Ryan thought about animals nearly every waking moment, so, while in Beast Boy's body, he was having difficulty on staying in his default human form, or even staying in one form at a time.  
  
With sickening lurches, Ryan walked from the dining room to Gar's room, transforming first into a wildebeest, then an African secretary bird, then a capybara, then a civet, then a two-toed sloth, then a pronghorn antelope...  
  
Geez, I hope the supports of this place could survive if I spontaneously turned into a hippo... Ryan then unwittingly found the answer, as upon thinking about turning into a hippopotamus, he did so. Fortunately, the answer to his question was "Yes."  
  
Damn it! This is not good! What if I turned into a fish right here in the tower?! And to his chagrin, he then transformed into quite an unhappy rainbow trout that flopped about in search of fresh water before turning back into a gasping green human.  
  
"By Darwin, this has to stop! I just need to slow down and think for a second. Now, I'm going to concentrate and walk from here to the end of the corridor and I'm going to do it without turning into an animal!"  
  
Ryan stood up, took a deep breath, and began to walk to his room at the end of the corridor.  
  
He got five steps in before turning into a jaguar.  
  
Sighing inwardly, he resigned to at the very least concentrate on his favorite animal and walked down to the corridor. Luckily, he could enter the pressure-sensitive automatic door without the use of hands.  
  
He shifted into a human as his mind was fixated on the mess in front of him. Ryan was a neat freak. Messes in his room at home had short lifespans, and the longest ones occurred during long periods of work and ended once there was some time free. Beast Boy was the exact opposite, as seen by the fact that the floor was strewn with clothes and the dressers were empty. Clean clothes were indistinguishable from dirty ones to all except probably Beast Boy himself. The CDs and DVDs were strewn about, Vegan food was present in various stages of decay, and a TV showed a paused videogame. The room smelled worse than most of the zoos Ryan had ever visited.  
  
"Lovely," Ryan deadpanned, and then set about at the impossible task of cleaning the place up. About two hours later, Beast Boy was showered, the clothes were washed and put away, the games and CDs were sorted and alphabetized, the food was cleared, the floor was shampooed and vacuumed, and the signature "Beast Boy smell" had dissipated out the window thanks to the aid of fans and Lysol. Ryan stood back, admiring his work.  
  
"Ah, the smell of victory... it smells a lot like soap..." Ryan chuckled, then sat in front of a mirror to try and sort out his powers.  
  
"OK, time to try and focus..." Ryan started to clear his mind, then focused it.  
  
"Wolf..." and with that, Ryan turned into the shaggy canine. He stayed that way for about a minute before concentrating on himself and turning back. "Good, now let's try this again. Hawk." Again he transformed, this time into a bird of prey, flew around the room a few times, and then transformed back.  
  
"I think I'm getting the hang of this! OK, prairie dog," he turned briefly into the rodent and remained before changing back, "Gorilla," again, he transformed, remained that way, then changed back, "Great horned owl... leopard frog... boa constrictor... fire ant... Egyptian fruit bat... Komodo dragon... llama..." each time, he changed into the animal he chose and remained before he chose to transform back to human.  
  
Ryan thought for a second. Beast Boy frequently changed into Tyrannosaurs and Triceratops in the cartoon. Ryan was well versed in extinct animal species, and had even considered paleontology as a possible career. He grinned as he imagined the possibilities, and began to concentrate on the scientific names he had known for years, animals he only knew from fossil remains.  
  
"Smilodon fatalis..." He would have cried with joy if he were capable as he transformed into the saber-toothed cat. After prancing around, he changed back. "Megatherium..." He changed again, this time into an enormous ground sloth. He changed back, his smile so wide he thought his face might break, "Andrewsarchus..." He then became a huge, wolf-like hoofed carnivore. He opened wide his massive jaws and transformed back. He started to delve further back, "Coelophysis..." he became a 3-foot tall early dinosaur before turning back, "Archaeopteryx..." he turned into a feathered dinosaur believed to be the missing link between dinosaurs and birds before transforming back, "Corythosaurus..." this time, the room became much smaller as he transformed into the duck-billed dinosaur. He transformed back. He had a lot more extinct creatures swimming about in his mind, but he suppressed them out of fear of transforming into something huge.  
  
"I can DO this! This is GREAT!" Ryan jumped in joy, but when he landed, his jumbled thoughts led him to be transformed into a twisted chimera-esque creature. His hind legs appeared to be those of a plant eating dinosaur, but his front legs were those of a cat. Stegosaurus like spines grew from his back, and a club like tail emerged from his back. Two sets of dragonfly wings sprung from his back and his hair was a lion's mane. The horns of a bighorn sheep came out of his head, and two walrus tusks came out of his mouth. His back was covered in armadillo armor with long, bright feathers sticking out of the armor plates. And to boot, his face was still that of Beast Boy.  
  
"Ok... that's not regular...." He stood there dumbfounded for about five seconds. "... help?"  
  
=================  
  
Sitting down on the floor with a loud clank rather than the dull thump he was used to Canis once again mused on what had happened. Looking at 'his' arms, he noted that while they did look cool, he'd give almost anything to have real ones...even if they weren't his own. "Least then I wouldn't be breaking things left and right. Wait, I do that anyway. Nevermind."  
  
Chuckling slightly to himself Canis looked around Cyborg's, no his room and saw various tools and things scattered around. "Perfect way to practice..."  
  
Rolling back onto his back then rocking forwards to get enough momentum Canis rocked to his feet without using his hands. As he straightened up and got started on organizing the room some corner of his mind absently noted that he was quickly adjusting to his new body.  
  
After rooting around the room and finding everything, dumping it into a pile in the middle of the floor then resorting and putting it away, Canis decided that enough was enough. He needed some music. Booting up Cyborg's computer and somehow managing to guess the password, "What kind of password is 'PinkRaven' anyway?" he stared in shock and disgust at Cyborg's pitiful music collection. "Country!? COUNTRY!? What the hell is wrong with this $%^#@^& bucket head!"  
  
Deciding that it wasn't worth it to get worked up just yet Canis instead looked for a way onto the internet, then once he figured out how to get there he worked on navigating. After much frustration and threatening the computer finally loaded a hard rock/heavy-metal radio station and began playing. "Now to find out what this new body can do...I'm sure you kept some files and the like about yourself on here Cyborg now let's see just what I can find."  
  
Canis spent the next several hours looking through various schematics of Cyborg's current body as well as some proposed but incomplete plans for upgrades. "Hmm...this gun upgrade looks promising...wonder if I can get it working..."  
  
When Canis finally left the room several hours later he was sporting a grin that looked more at home upon the face of an evil psychopath like The Joker rather than the face of the super hero whose body he was currently inhabiting. Morphing his right arm into a gun barrel Canis's grin grew even wider before the light in his cybernetic eye went out and he fell forward to hit the ground with a loud, "CLANG!"  
  
=================  
  
The new Robin could not believe the situation he and his friends found themselves in. Sure waking up as the Boy Wonder had it's perks: full head of hair, healthy lungs, didn't need to wear glasses, and young enough that if he got the chance to play around with a cute teen-- it wouldn't be statutory rape. Not that he would've in his old life as, like Robin, he was far too lawful to break the law and he wouldn't want to hurt anyone-- especially through an act the was supposed to be out of love.  
  
However, this wasn't the world of his birth. Hell, Robin wasn't sure this was all some whacked out dream, and he had his share of those in the past. There was a certain sense of unreality to the whole situation. That he could do as he pleased and it wouldn't come back to haunt him. Yet, this all certainly felt real as well and there was no telling how long this would all last.  
  
First thing was first. Robin placed a sticky note by the computer reading, 'Robin, you might want to find out everything you can on Slade Wilson, aka Deathstroke the Terminator.'  
  
Then Robin set out to the task at hand: trying to find out what the hell happened and how much this world applied to cartoon reality or comic reality. Logging onto the computer was simple enough, it took a few tries, but 'Alfred' gave Robin general access to Robin's account.  
  
Robin frowned at the updated news. Superheroes around the world were performing grandiose displays of powers, demonstrating their abilities in their civilian identity, and generally acting like Mary Sues at an orgy involving their favorite characters. He wondered if a certain Texas school teacher had also been switched and was making her way to meet Beast Boy.  
  
There was one major problem with the arising situation: none of the reports included incidents with super-villain beyond accounts of super-heroes getting their asses kicked by them. So, if this was only a deal with the super-heroes, then the problem with the switch was in this world. But who would do this and why?  
  
With the world situation looking bleak, Robin began searching other files on the computer to learn all he could about the Boy Wonder's weaponry and gadgets. In a team of super-heroes, he was the one without any super powers. He may be a jack-of-all trades in both lives, but the true Robin had mastered many of his trades while Archive had conquered none. If he was going to fight, he needed to exploit every advantage he could.  
  
Robin found a set of files that were further password protected. Several tries of various names and places and he finally got it with 'acrobat,' the occupation Dick held with his family prior to him becoming an orphan. What he found was nothing like he expected to find from the straight-laced, no nonsense model boy scout of crime-fighting-- hidden camera footage of Starfire in the shower and on her bed playing... with nary a scrape of clothes in sight.  
  
The door chimed and Robin quickly shut down the images he had been gawking at for some time. He then shifted nervously. "Um, come on in."  
  
The door slide open and Starfire peeked in, "Archive, we just got some pizza delivered."  
  
"Sure, um, Shaun!" Robin chirped. He then felt rather disgusted when his mind connected a guy to the images he had just seen. He really needed to think about something else, and food was a good way to go. They better have a pepperoni and mushroom pizza for him.  
  
==================  
  
Starfire walked back and forth in her room, looking around at the various things. Most of the drawers were untouched as an invasion of privacy was the last thing on her mind. But, she needed clothing, especially underwear.  
  
"C'mon Shaun, you can do this," she muttered to herself. "It's not different from putting away your mom's clothing or doing the laundry."  
  
Gritting her teeth, she marched over and pulled open the first drawer, steeling herself for whatever might be in there.  
  
What she found, was several similar nightgowns and other assorted sleeping items, including a package of pads. Shaking herself out of the thoughts, Starfire opened the second drawer. More of her typical violet tops and bottoms were in here, amidst a few different articles of earth clothing.  
  
The third drawer yielded several skirts and tops of the similar variety, and the fourth seemed to have a small collection of earth shorts and tops.  
  
"What, no bras?" Starfire muttered to herself as she pulled out a pair of pink panties. "Cute. Aw well."  
  
After dressing, Starfire looked at herself in the mirror and crossed her arms, feeling a bit vulnerable. "I still feel like I need more clothing."  
  
Dressed in her top and skirt that canon Starfire was normally present in, she had also added a long sleeved shirt that she had tied together and rolled the sleeves up. Starfire did not own any socks, apparently liked to keep her feet bare in her long boots.  
  
Picking up a brush, Starfire went to taming the long mane of hair she sported, eventually wrestling it into a state of submission. Lifting a lock of hair to her face, Starfire grinned and said, "At least it's a nice color."  
  
Shaking the thoughts out of her head, Starfire sighed. "I guess I really am being something of a girl. Aw well. It's to be expected being a girl right at the moment."  
  
Looking out the window, she frowned. "It's midday already? No one's cooked anything." Grinning, Starfire lifted off and flew down to the kitchen in the middle of the living room. "All right, time to get to work," she said, rubbing her hands together and removing her gloves.  
  
Pulling open the fridge, she wrinkled her nose. "Eeew."  
  
Most of the food was in a state of decay, including the fuzzy blue food that tried to reach out at her. Starfire's fist glowed and the food relented.  
  
"Gross," remarked Starfire as she set to cleaning out the fridge and doing the dishes.  
  
After a long hour, she wiped her forehead as she removed the apron that was splattered with water. "There we go, all dishes done and fridge cleaned out." Opening the fridge, she frowned. "Nothing. That was practically the remainder of the food."  
  
Looking around, she found a note tacked to the board that read "Jump City Pizza" and underneath it was written a credit card number and a phone number. Shrugging, Starfire grabbed the cordless and tapped in the number.  
  
After a few minutes and ordering five large pizzas, she hung up and wondered if the guy on the other end was flirting with her. It made her feel warm and somewhat grossed out at the same time. On one hand, she was getting attention from the opposite sex. On the other hand, it was the WRONG opposite sex.  
  
Starfire grumbled, floated over to the couch and draped herself over the end. "This is a completely fwierd day."  
  
******  
  
"Azarath metrion sinthos...azarath metrion sinthos...azarath - aw, damnit!" Raven spat as another chair in her room melted.  
  
Trying to get a handle on Raven's powers was proving to be more of a challenge than Iapetus had thought. Presently she was seated on Raven's bed, legs crossed in lotus position; after crashing three or four times while trying to levitate while meditating, Iapetus had figured sitting on a solid surface would be a better idea. So far she had succeeded in not only giving herself several black and blue marks, but melting two more pieces of Raven's furniture and slagging half of the closet door.  
  
"Maybe I'll calm down if don't try to calm down," she reasoned as she got up off the bed. Raven decided to take a closer look at "her" bedroom. Since she didn't know how long she and the guys (and damn, was it weird to think of Starfire as a guy) would be stuck like this, she may as well get used to her new living arrangements.  
  
Raven's - the real Raven - taste in decorating definately bordered on the Gothic, Iapetus decided. The room was incredibly dark, almost the complete opposite of Iapetus' own bedroom. It was also filled with some rather interesting statues and artifacts. "Did she pick these up on her own, or were these given to her?" Raven wondered aloud. Something on the dresser glinted in what little light there was in the room and, catching it out of the corner of her eye, Raven turned to see what it was.  
  
"Oh, crap," she muttered when she got close enough to recognize the object. It was a hand mirror. More specifically, it was the hand mirror. The one that Beast Boy and Cyborg had used to enter Raven's mind.  
  
Immediately Raven began thinking of all the complications that this presented. Would the mirror lead into her mind now, or would it lead into Raven's-mind-in-Iapetus'-body? Iapetus had never read the Teen Titans comics, but she did remember reading up on Raven and her father...Trigon. God, how would the switch affect that relationship? She could feel a nervous feeling building in the pit of her stomach, and tried to calm herself down before she melted anything else. A song popped into her head and Raven latched onto it for all she was worth.  
  
Raven wasn't even aware that she had been humming the tune until there was a knock on her door. "Come," she called, hoping that her voice didn't sound as shaky as she felt. The door opened, revealing Robin. "What?"  
  
"Shaun just ordered some pizza. You want some?" he asked.  
  
Raven inhaled deeply, trying to get a handle on her emotions. "Yeah, sure. Be right there." Robin left, and she followed him out not too long afterwards, humming again.  
  
It wasn't until she was halfway down the hall that Raven realized what song she was humming: Joni Mitchell's "A Bird That Whistles."  
  
*******  
  
It was morning in the bustling metropolis known creatively as Metropolis, home to the man of steel. With the strength to stop bullets and the speed to outrun trains, along with many other impressive powers, Superman was indeed one of America's greatest superheroes, if not one of the greatest in the world. With powers as great as his it was lucky he was also one of the most calm and honourable ones.  
  
But there were always unscrupulous people trying their hardest to get their hands on his powers, however each attempt had failed in the end and everything ultimately returned to normal.  
  
This morning heralded another of these 'attempts' of sorts. Clark Kent, the alter ego of Superman, woke up bright and early. Opening the windows and slipping on the pair of glasses resting on a table, he breathed in the fresh air. Suddenly he felt puzzled, something wasn't right.  
  
Without realising it he felt the eye beams inside him flare up as it ripped through the lenses of his glasses and out through the wall. Puzzled, again, he removed the glasses and felt the frames oddly.  
  
"Why the hell am I wearing glasses, I can't see through them." The voice sounded strained as it came out, and it was obvious that Clark seemed surprised at the voice. Something was seriously wrong.  
  
Spinning round he found a mirror, with some difficulty, and stared at himself in it. Something between confusion and admiration passed across his face.  
  
"Okay, so I'm not me? I know my shoulders weren't this broad last night. And I know my hair wasn't this colour. And I sincerely hope I didn't have an American accent when I went to sleep." With a dejected sigh 'Clark' sat down as he tried to comprehend what was happening. And that's when he saw something interesting in the closet.  
  
Half in sight and half out of sight was what seemed to be a red cape. Further inspection discovered blue tights, red underwear and a blue top with a yellow-framed red 'S'. In an uncharacteristic expression a grin grew from ear to ear.  
  
"Well, I can't think of anyone whose body I'd rather be inhabiting." With a grin he quickly slipped into the costume, although the tights were slightly irritating to wear as the gripped to his legs.  
  
Looking at himself in the mirror he began to wonder how the real Superman could go through this, in his opinion it was rather embarrassing to wear this all the time. With a smile he added his own addition to the symbol on the chest, satisfied at last he burst out through the large open windows and into the streets.  
  
Later that day people would gather and wonder why Superman was flying around Metropolis, and why he ended up colliding with a few buildings. Some would wonder why he seemed to be punching everything he found and trying out his eye beams. Some questioned his ignoring Grundy, one of his stronger enemies, in favour of having a good hotdog. But the biggest question was why 'Misc' was wrote underneath the large 'S' in black marker. 


	3. Chapter 3 : Living Forever

Teen Titans Diaries 

by The Diaries Guild with Original Concept by Shaun Garin and Co.

Teen Titans is owned by DC and the animated series by Kids WB.

Chapter 3 : Living Forever

* * *

"THERE'S FUNGUS ON MY PIZZA!" Cyborg howled. "SOMEBODY'S GONNA DIE!" His arm morphed into the sonic cannon and aimed it at Starfire but was halted from pulling the trigger as the phone rang. 

Starfire giggled and flew off to get it.

"At least there's cheese pizza...," Raven trailed off.

"Where's the MEAT?" Beast Boy growled.

"Cool. Which one first, the pepperoni and mushroom or the mushroom and steak melt? Decisions, decisions. I'll have them BOTH!" Robin grabbed a few slices of each.

Beast Boy glared, transformed into a green shaggy dog and tried to bite Robin.

"Get lost, Muttly." The boy wonder kicked the furry puppy away.

"I don't think he's the one to worry about," Cyborg warned, his weapon ready to fire.

Robin shrugged. "Guess you don't want to know what's going on."

Raven stood up and Cyborg went flying across the room from an accidental black bolt. "You know how this happened!"

"Not everything." Robin inhaled a slice. "First off, we're not the only ones to be switched. The news is having a field day with power tripping super-heroes and secret identities are being blown left and right."

Beast Boy's eyes widened to inhuman proportions. "That is NOT good."

Robin smirked sadly. "Then you'll LOVE this..."

Starfire flew back into the room. "Ah, guys... we've got a call... from Slade."

"Oh, goody." Robin chirped as he followed Starfire to the message screen with the rest of the Teen Titans.

"Greetings, Titans," Slade greeted in a cold voice.

"Hello, Mr. Wilson!" Robin chirped. "Did you want to play today? Sorry, but Robin's not in at the moment."

Slade just stared at Robin in blank shock while Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Starfire were rolling on the floor howling in laughter.

"How...?" Slade questioned in disbelief.

"I might tell you, because if we decide we want to change things back--"

Robin was interrupted with a demonized faced of Starfire. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'IF,' ARCHIVE NO BAKA?" The Boy Wonder suddenly found himself embedded into the far side of the wall via some seriously righteous wrath. "BY RA I WILL BE A GUY AGAIN!"

"This is all... very... interesting," Slade commented uncertainly.

* * *

"So we're in agreement. It would be overkill to send us up against any of your goons, Mr. Wilson. If you keep a low profile, we won't butt heads. Deal?" said Robin as he finished his pizza. 

Slade Wilson, behind his mask wore an expression of reluctance. "Yes, we are in agreement. I would much rather prefer to destroy the Teen Titans when they are rightfully replaced."

"Believe us, it's not picnic for us as well. Well, except maybe Starfire." Starfire glared at Robin from halfway across the room where she had sat down to read a scientific journal. Robin then grinned at Slade. "Besides, you want the REAL Robin. Not a twenty something guy who can't even fight his way out of a paper bag."

Cyborg made a snorting sound as he had finished getting off the phone with Jump City Pizza and ordered a couple of meat laden pizzas for him and Beast Boy. Robin paused to glare at him as Slade nodded imperceptibly.

"As you wish," said Slade. "Although I cannot say the same thing for any other villains the former Titans have faced, I will adhere to my end of the bargain." With that said, the connection abruptly terminated.

"Way to go Archive," Beast Boy cheered as his face turned into a Owl face. "We don't have to deal with Slade!" He then proceeded to ooze more parts before returning to his normal form with some effort.

Robin let out a long held breath. "I thought I wouldn't be able to negotiate a truce." Flopping onto the couch, he snagged a piece of Beef and Mushroom pizza and munched on it. "Slade is one tricky customer. Dealing with him in real life can be a bit more harrowing than I thought."

Raven looked over the book she was reading and said, "Slade does have a point, Archive. We don't KNOW how to use our powers yet. Well, except for Shaun who's got two of them down pat. Lets face it. With Canis not being able to trigger his weaponry very well, Ryan oozing animal parts and myself melting things left and right, not to mention you having no martial arts experience, things will be tough if we run up against someone."

Robin slouched on the couch as he sighed. "I'm thinking we're going to have a LONG time ahead of us."

Starfire looked over her superhero journal and quirked an eyebrow. "You know..." she said slowly. "There's an obstacle course down on the island."

"What're you getting at Shaun?" asked Cyborg, still upset at not having enough meat on his pizza.

"I think what Shaun means is that we should try the obstacle course. Set at the lowest level of course." Raven shrugged and Beast Boy went careeming across the room in a bolt of black energy. "Sorry."

"Ow," grunted Beast Boy as he stumbled to his feet. "Kim, you've gotta stop doing that."

"Not her fault she can't control her powers," said Starfire glibly as she floated into the air and flew out the window.

"Why is it that the guy who would make the lousiest DiaRanger in the history of mankind has Starfire's powers down pat?" groused Cyborg as he tromped down towards the door in the back of the room.

"I think it's because his emotions aren't dangerous." said Raven dryly. To demonstrate the fact, Robin went flying into the nearby kitchen. Raven winced. "Whoops."

* * *

Weird dreams were nothing new to the young writer known as Akino Ame. She'd had her fair share of strange ones from animated to CGI to more realistic. Most came from the overactive imagination that had gotten her into writing in the first place. But this one really took the cake. 

She stood in front of a mirror in a cheap motel room, staring at her reflection. Her brown hair and eyes had suddenly changed to a respective blond and blue in the night, and her body had more cleavage and less guttage. Gone was the need for glasses, and apparently allergy medication as well, judging at how she hadn't sneezed once despite all the rock dust she seemed to be covered in. But one question burned in her mind as she waited to wake up: Why the hell am I dreaming that I'm Terra?

In the strange little world of Akinoland, the moment the subject realized she was dreaming, she would immediately wake up. But either the rules of Akinoland had been tossed out, or this was no dream, as she stood in front of the mirror for several minutes upon coming to the conclusion that she was not waking up.

"Damn it, why this?" she muttered. "Why Terra? Even Supergirl would have been better!"

She sighed and sat down on the bed. "Well, I haven't gone through 'Aftershocks' yet, or else I'd be a nice pretty pile of concrete." Another thought popped in her mind as she got up and looked around. "No pro-Slade stuff here, I don't think, so I guess Terra's still a Titans ally. Good. Maybe they can help me get out of this."

She got dressed and grabbed Terra's goggles before heading out of the motel and finding the harbor. A large T-shaped tower stood in the distance. She stood on a large rock and pulled on the goggles.

"Now's as good a time as any to see if I can control her powers," she decided as she concentrated on pushing the stone all the way across the harbor. It lurched quite a bit as it lifted and glided over the water, but it worked.

"Yes!" she cried. "I'm doing it! I can do it! I-"

Fate hated her. Lady Luck didn't like her much either. The minute she got halfway to Titans Tower, the rock stopped in midair. She tried pulling forward and backward, and it didn't work. It didn't even fall from its position. She was left there fuming and screaming, "God, why this..."

* * *

"All right, I think I've gotten this thing figured out." Robin punched a button on the console that made several targets snap up to greet the assembled Titans. "Push the button." 

"I wanna push the button," chimed Beast Boy who had turned into Plucky Duck and was reaching up for the button.

Starfire picked him up and set him aside. "No pushy," she remarked with a smirk. "Okay Archive, fire away."

"Right. Canis? You're up first."

"Oh joy," said Cyborg as his arm morphed into the Sonic Cannon. A fiendish grin appeared on his face as he cried, "Lets rock!"

Twenty seconds later, Cyborg limped off the obstacle course, badly beaten up by the robot dummies. "Archive man, I thought you said this was set on the easiest level!"

"Apparently it IS the easiest level," said Raven, shrugging. Beast Boy yelped and dodged away from a falling boulder.

"Kim!" shouted Beast Boy, "keep those falling things to yourself!"

"You're the comedic relief," replied Starfire, a wide grin on her face.

Beast Boy fought down a bout of immaturity and lost, sticking his tongue out at the guy turned girl.

"Just for that, you're up next," said Beast Boy, pushing the girl forwards.

"Yeesh." Starfire rose into the air and Robin pressed the activation button.

After a good minute and a half, Starfire wobbled into view unsteadily. "Wow, dizziness factor," she remarked, sitting down and holding her head. "Maybe doing all of those spins and loops wasn't such a good idea."

"I'll say," said Cyborg, still peeved at his twenty second loss. "At least you got through the course, right?"

"Shaun's standing at one minute, fifty five seconds mainly because he was able to fly at top speed and do hairpin turns," remarked Robin from behind the console. "All right, it's my turn. Someone push the button when I get into position."

"I wanna push da button," chirped Beast Boy who had assumed Baby Plucky's form once again and stabbed at the red button.

Robin rushed in and there was the sound of carnage and everyone winced. One minute later, Robin yelled, "Turn it off! Turn it off!" and Raven stabbed the off button.

Robin stumbled out of the carnage, holding a shoulder that looked dislocated, wearing bruises and sticky messes all over him. Stumbling over, he sat down and wrestled his mask off that was adhered to his face with a sticky bubblegum-like substance. "That, was brutal."

"One minute, ten seconds," read off Beast Boy as he stepped up to the plate. "Mission start!" he barked, changing into a jaguar.

A minute thirty later, a llama stumbled out of the end of the course, looking worse for the wear. Morphing back into Beast Boy, he stuck out his thumb in a classic "nice guy" pose before falling over onto his face. "Ow," said Beast Boy, and he passed out.

"My turn," said Raven. Her expression clearly marked that she was NOT looking forward to the whole encounter. There was a beeping sound, a stabbing of a button and she floated into the midst of the course.

"She's doing not half bad," remarked Cyborg as he nursed a wound.

"Yeah," replied Robin as he pulled the mess out of his hair, wincing as several strands went with it.

"I think she can actually get through it," replied Starfire.

"Gurgle," said the unconcious Beast Boy.

"AIYEEEEE!" proclaimed Raven as everyone sweatdropped.

Starfire politely averted her eyes as Cyborg and Robin drooled. "I didn't think that this was the proper setting you guys."

"I didn't know she could BEND like that," said Robin.

"Tell me again why we can't look away?" asked Cyborg.

"Because we're perverts?" replied Robin.

"SHUT THE DAMN THING OFF!" screamed Raven.

Starfire jabbed the off button and Raven unsteadily floated over. Her clothing was in tatters and she looked out of sorts. "Tell me someone didn't intentionally do that to the course."

Robin checked the panel. "Actually, it says here that it's set for Raven. Must be a bio-recognition system."

"That explains the tentacles," said Cyborg, his gigantic grin earning him a black bolt that tossed him and Robin into the ocean.

"Um, I'm going over here right now," said Starfire as she floated away back into the tower.

* * *

Ugh... I'm exhausted," remarked Terra as she slumped to the ground. Having made her way off the rock in the middle of the ocean, she settled for the next best thing; moving across land. 

"I think I lost it," she remarked looking behind herself. There was no answering rumble of something moving on the ground with or without her powers kicking in accidentally so Terra sighed and wiped the sweat from her forehead.

"What the hell am I doing here?" she asked the sky but there was no answer. Shaking her head, she sighed. "Go to bed one night and then wake up in the body of Terra. This is so stupid. Can't be real. Just can't."

Picking up a rock from the ground, she tossed it up and down in her hand before chucking it across the canyon. It bounced twice before rolling to a stop. Terra sighed and drew her knees up to her chest, hugging them. "What a bad dream. I'm sure a good sleep will help."

Thud.

Terra shot up in alarm as the familiar vibrations shook the ground. "No. Nonononono. No."

Thud. Thud, thud, thud.

"Aw CRAP!"

Terra jumped to her feet and ran for her life as the giant scorpion mecha stomped into view behind her. "Just keep running," she puffed as she ran.

* * *

Somewhere else in the same Canyon, someone was running and he was reveling in his power. 

The white and dark crimson blur screeched to a halt as a young teenager stretched and laughed. "This is life," he said to the sun that beat down on the world beneath him. "Just me and the wind. Whoever stuck me into this body really knew my preferences."

Sitting down, Impulse scratched the back of his head and his stomach growled. "Though I wish I brought something to eat. Aw well. Maybe head over to the city and get something there."

He got up, shaking off the dust quickly and looking around. "Man, what to do. Ah, I know. Run!"

A scream split the sky and a huge explosion rocked the landscape a few miles away. Looking up, Impulse sighed. "Another day, another disaster. Aw well. It's something to do." With that, he sped off towards the settling dust.

* * *

"Where the hell are the Teen Titans when you need them?" Terra wondered to herself as she focused her mind and ripped another rock from the ground. "HA!" 

The rock smashed into the scorpion's head and it reeled, allowing a chance for the girl to duck away from it and head off towards the tower that was in the distance. "Gotta get some distance from big and ugly before it squishes me!"

Dodging a swipe from it's claws, Terra bolted for the exit of the canyon, hurling rocks at the opponent as best she could. Each one was ripped from the ground but many of them were unsteady at best and fell short due to Terra's lack of aim and control. Dodging around a nearby rock formation, she yelped as the scorpion mecha cleaved the top of it right off. "Oh god, wake up, Brittany, wake up!"

The scorpion raised an arm to slam her into the ground when suddenly a blur shot past the scorpion. It beeped for a moment before the front leg exploded in a hail of shrapnel. The blur screeched to a halt revealing a red haired teenager dressed in a costume of white and dark crimson. "Hey," he greeted.

Terra gaped for a moment before she pointed and yelped, "Behind you!"

The boy easily moved out of the way as he blurred through a leg. The second leg exploded and the scorpion stumbled as its claw crashed down next to Terra.

Terra stood and clenched her fists as she yelled. Brilliant yellow light flared and without warning, a spear of rock shoved itself through the middle of the scorpion. The scorpion flailed and whined as fluid exploded from the internal mechanisms.

Two more legs exploded as the teen ran through the legs at super speeds. A claw was smashed to bits as two giant boulders dropped on it. With the combined skills of the pair, the scorpion's mechanisms finally gave out and it died with a chirp.

As the dust settled, the teen screeched to a halt as he grinned from behind his mask. "Did pretty well there," he remarked casually as if it was a daily event to attack giant mechanical scorpions. "What's your name?"

Terra stood and said, "Terra."

The boy walked around her slowly, looking at her. Finally, he said, "Name's Impulse."

"That your code name?" asked Terra.

"I doubt someone has a name like Terra just for show," replied Impulse. "So, where ya headed?"

"Down this canyon for starters," said Terra as she indicated Jump City in the distance. "I'm planning on hooking up with the Teen Titans." It was a half truth as Terra had no idea how she had gotten there, but since the Titans hadn't appeared yet, it was questionable where her loyalties lay at the moment.

"Titans..." Impulse smirked. "All right then. I'll help ya. Get on my back."

Terra blinked but did so. And in a shot, the pair zoomed off towards the tower shaped like a T.

* * *

"And I'm telling you we shoulda gone to that alert!" exclaimed Starfire hotly as she folded her arms. 

"Look, we're not exactly ready to go out there and get our asses kicked," replied Robin. "We need to train."

"Yeah man, if you wanted to go out there and get whupped, that's fine with us," added Cyborg as he poked around BB's music collection for something decent.

Starfire threw her hands up in the air. "I just think we should try to help..."

"And then get killed," said Raven as she looked up from the magic book that she had found in her room entitled Magical Fundamentals. "You might be fighting material but we're out of control. It's time we learned some of it."

Robin nodded. "It's for our own good, Shaun. We're not ready to die if this isn't just some kinda whacked out dream. We need to be prepared."

Beastboy, who was monitoring the area around the tower called out. "Hey. There's something approaching the tower. High speeds. I think it's a runner."

"Another superhero power-tripping?" asked Cyborg as Starfire went up to check the readouts.

"Possibly," she replied. "Looks like it's running fast enough to go over water. It's headed towards us at quite a speed."

"Lets get out the welcome mat," said Robin as he picked up some Birdrangs and placed them into his belt. "If they prove to be hostile, this'll be our first real battle."

The other Titans nodded and soon were downstairs. Robin reached out and opened the door.

A wave of dust washed over the group in a choking cloud as the figure screeched to a halt. "There we are," said the person as he let down the passenger.

Beastboy identified the people immediately. "Terra and Impulse?"

"What brings you to Titan Tower?" asked Robin curiously, putting away a Rang.

Impulse folded his arms. "You tell us. She was wanting to get into town and hook up with you guys."

"That's weird," remarked Raven. "In the episode, she didn't know we were here... so how..."

"Episode? You mean you guys are having one of these out of body things too?" asked Terra, surprised.

"Just who are you? And what's your internet name?" asked Cyborg getting to the point.

"I'm Brittany. Brittany Chavez. Akino Ame is what I go by on the net," replied Terra.

Impulse gave her a look. "You're Akino?" At her nod, he smirked. "I'm Raikun Tabris on AIM."

"What is this? Some big freaking Guild meeting?" exclaimed Starfire. "I'm getting weirded out here."

"Lord Archive," said Robin, holding out his hand. "The other Titans are other guild members. Ryan, Canis, Iapetus..." Robin smirked, "and Shaun."

Impulse roared in laughter. "That's rich, the insane one in a girls body?"

"Shut up you zarnian blogwart!" exclaimed Starfire hotly. "I'll rip your spleen out!"

"Someone is touchy," remarked Terra as she dusted herself off as best she could.

"She's a bit unbalanced right now," said Raven. "To say the least."

Beastboy rolled his eyes as he gestured to the elevator. "C'mon, lets get you guys into rooms. And Terra into a shower." He then blinked and flinched. "Don'thurtmedon'thurtme," he chanted in order to spare himself from the imminent pain of being called a pervert by an earth mover with a definite lack of control.

Terra snickered as she dusted off more of her shirt. "I definitely need it. That's for sure." "That's the last time I do an all night anime marathon..." The figure shifted around under the blankets of his bed, giving a loud yawn. Spending a night bingeing on Evangelion was easily enough to make anything seemed possible, especially when mixed with dreams of ugly angels attacking all over the place.

* * *

Pulling the blanket over his body, even around, his head, the figure finally got out of bed, shambling absently around the small apartment, not seeming to notice anything out of the ordinary. Passing the television, he turned it on, just wanting some background noise, as he shuffled into the bathroom to try and wake himself. 

"And as of recent, the world is still in a grip of confusion. With a large populace of the world's superheroes suddenly causing pandemonium, this reporter can only speculate as to the cause. For station twenty nine, this is..."

Mumbling to himself, the news report barely made a thought as the sound of teeth being brushed could be heard. 'Sounds like a weird Justice League episode, or something...' He thought, finishing up the brushing, and walking back out, still wrapping in the blanket from the cold.

Ignoring the reporter's voice as he started past the television again, he turned his head towards it, pausing to watch the action, as a pair of 'heroes' were taped having an argument over who was the strongest. "Wow, JLA got some nice CG, to look this realistic. But when did we get a wide screen?" He blinked, looking around the screen, noticing quite a bit of computer hardware set up, as if it were a very elaborate computer instead of a TV.

The apartment was very much not what he had thought it was either, a small twin bed sitting across from the electronics, and a small kitchenette set up near the front door. The door itself was fairly sturdy itself, various locks running down the doorframe, ensuring quite a bit of safety.

Turning back to the screen, he saw that someone who looked remarkably like Superman had joined the argument. Save that the argument was now the pair standing together against the probably man of steel, who has something in black written underneath his S. Before long, the pair tried jumping the man in blue, not taking long before they were both slammed and unconscious into the ground, with a grinning Superman standing over then for a moment, before flying off.

"Either Supes got a major attitude adjustment..." Looking away from the screen, the male turned his gaze to a long table at the foot of the bed, noticing for the first time, that something lain across it. Stepping up to the table, a black body suit, with gray gloves and boots, stretched over the wood surface. A skull like mask with a slanted, red X, lay in the middle, a thick gray belt folded underneath it. Picking the mask up, the blanket covered figure shook his head slightly. "Or my Eva induced dreams just took a backseat for weirdness..."


	4. Chapter 4 : Awful Beautiful Life

Jump City. Home to the Teen Titans, this city stood against some of the nastiest characters alive, ranging from the typical rampages of various large and rather nasty creatures including the large rock man known as Cinderblock, to the goo creature known as Plasmus. Other smaller problems but no less annoying ranged from the magician Mumbo Jumbo, the students of the H.I.V.E. Academy and the man only known as Slade to the Teen Titans. 

Currently, the first of many problems had just cropped up in the wee hours of the morning as Plasmus, in his wont was in progress of sacking a toxic waste transport truck. Grasping one of the large barrels in a dripping arm-like protrusion, he ripped the top open and drank it down, letting out a thunderous belch.

As he reached for the second and third helpings, bursts of green energy racked the ground before him, showering Plamus with debris and causing it to pause.

Standing before him were the Teen Titans, all ready for battle. Mostly.

The only one who looked bright and awake was the Tamaranian Starfire. Robin looked bedraggled and sleepy as he leaned on an Erisma Stick. Cyborg was nearly fast asleep and Beastboy was doing a credible imitation of the amazing sleeping transforming wonder. Raven looked mostly awake, but she was fighting back yawns. Two of the newest members, Impulse and Terra both seemed half asleep as well, Impulse rubbing sleep out of his eyes and Terra's mouth imitating the Grand Canyon with her yawns.

"Give it up, Plasmus," said Starfire, folding her arms. "We've totally out numbered you."

Plasmus merely replied something incoherent and he lashed out with his arms. "TITANS MOVE!" Starfire yelped, grabbing Robin and Cyborg, throwing them to the side as she herself got slimed. Raven managed to conjure a shield that the thick goo splashed up against to protect herself and Beastboy who was snoozing on the ground as a jaguar. Impulse grabbed Terra and zipped to safety.

"This is not going to end well," uttered Raven as she tried to focus on Plasmus and the cars behind him. Sleep still addled her mind as she slowly focused on the cars. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"

The cars wobbled for a moment and then exploded into various pieces like something out of a cartoon. Raven grunted as she dodged clumsily away from the powerful goo tendrils that Plasmus shot out. She had a moment to exclaim "Yick" before she was coated in goo.

Impulse charged at a mighty speed at Plasmus and buried a fist into what he assumed was his stomach. Vibrating his arm, Plasmus flew apart and he yelled, "Oh yeah! Speed is where it's at!"

"Nice going," grumbled Cyborg as he pulled himself to his feet. "Now I'm both slimed AND half asleep."

"Heh," said Impulse a moment before Plasmus loomed up and chomped down on his head without any warning.

"This is the worst possible scenario, EVER," said Robin as he withdrew several items he figured were ice disks and threw them. They turned out to be exploding disks and added to the splatter fest that was quickly becoming downtown Jump City. "Why the hell doesn't Robin label these things anyhow?"

"Well find something that'll put him on ice and fast," snapped Cyborg angrily as he pulled out the missiles and started firing. He ended up being covered in goo as Terra tried to rip the ground up from underneath the monster. "Last I checked, I was fresh out of ice missiles."

Raven took the moment to kick Beastboy awake. "Huh? Whazzat?"

"Get up, Ryan, we're in the middle of something here," said Raven.

"Oh, um, yeah. Right." Turning into a jaguar, Beastboy took off at a run towards Plasmus in a headlong charge.

"Rhino!" Terra shouted, shifting Beastboy's thought processes in mid charge as a huge green Rhino slammed into Plasmus.

Robin grimaced as he dug even more through his utility belt. "How much does he carry in here anyhow?"

"Well find anything that looks explosive and throw it," snapped Cyborg as his arm reconfigured itself into his sonic cannon as a tremendous high-pitched whine could be heard from the rapidly building energy pulse.. "Die, ugly thing, die!"

"NO!" Shouted everyone as Cyborg fired.

* * *

Teen Titan Diaries

Written by Shaun Garin

Teen Titans are owned by Warner Bros. Animation and DC Comics. All characters are used for entertainment purposes only.

Chapter 4 : Awful Beautiful Life

* * *

"Aw man, this stuff's NASTY!" cried Cyborg as he was hosed down liberally with the garden hose set on full spray.

Starfire who was manning the hose glared at Cyborg angrily. "You didn't have to blow him up like that. We could have been SPARED the horror of being slimed by the thing from beyond the sewer pipe."

"Shaun, face it. We're NOT prepared for this. We had ONE day of training and that was IT." Pointed out Beastboy. "We were lucky we didn't DIE out there."

"I have to agree with Ryan," said Raven as she focused her powers and deluged herself in salt water. The queue for the garden hose was long and no one wanted to clog the Titan Tower plumbing with bits of Plasmus goo.

"Sure, let's gang up on the girl who noticed the alert in the first place," grumbled Starfire.

"I have to agree with Kim on this," said Robin who was wringing his cape out and hanging it up on the laundry line. "But on the good note, you were up early enough to catch the alarm and we stopped Plasmus before he did any major damage. In all, it was pretty successful."

"Tell that to my costume," said Impulse as he had bore the brunt of the sliming, having being chewed on for a little while.

"Fine. The next time one of the big nasties comes out, I won't alert anyone to the problem," snapped Starfire as she threw the hose into Cyborg's chest and darted upwards to the roof and into the sky.

"I think we hurt her feelings," said Terra after a long moment.

"Naw, Shaun's just being a primadonna," said Cyborg flippantly as he finished hosing off his body. "He'll come around."

"You sure? If it weren't for him, or her, or whatever we need to call Starfire now, we wouldn't have known about the alarm. At the worst possible outset, we could be experiencing a line of destruction carved from the prison all the way to the Tower." Reasoned Robin. "I hate to admit it, but we should be thankful that Starfire woke us all up."

"Archive's right," said Beastboy as he knocked water out of his ear. "I think we're being too hard on her."

Cyborg raised an eyebrow. "You call Shaun 'her' now?"

"Kind of hard NOT to right now," pointed out Beastboy.

* * *

"Wolf... Jaguar, hehe nice... Moose..." Beast Boy shifted with each name, trying to gain a bit of control over his transformations, by working on one at a time. "Saber toothed tiger..."

"Wombat"

Beast Boy blinked, as he turned into the small, pug-nosed creature, glaring over at Cyborg as he typed at one of the keyboards. "Dude, I'm trying to get this down. Can ya NOT do that please?"

Glancing his red eye back over his shoulder, Cyborg shrugged, giving the green animal a small grin. "Yea yea..."

"Thanks... Now, where was I. Oh yea, wolverine..." He said, changing into the small furry animal. "Giant ground sloth..." Shifting up, he flexed the long claws the creature had, as he made sure he had the proper type of sloth. "Crocodile..."

"Duck billed Platypus!"

"Damn it!" The bill Beast Boy now had slapped together as he spoke, looking over with a twitch forming in his brow, as he saw his cyborg friend covering his mouth and glancing at him, obviously trying not to laugh. "I'm warning you man, knock it off..."

Cyborg waved his hand, turning back to the computer. "Whatever..."

Scoffing, Beast Boy shifted back into his human body, sitting on the floor as he tried to remember where he left off. "Lets see, Sloth, Crocodile..."

"Carp..."

Cyborg leaned on the computer laughing, as he watched the fish flop around for a minute, before he finally changed back, gasping for air. "Dude, are you trying to kill me!"

Wiping at his eye, Cyborg grinned back at his friend, watching him fume on the floor. "Course not, you would have changed back. Relax Penpen..." The laughter renewed as the green teen turned into a penguin, giving an angry quack at the metal man. "Least you can keep you're 'Chinchilla' up!" Watching the bird turn into the small rodent with large ears, Cyborg finally fell off his stool, holding his stomach as he continued laughing.

The noise of Beast Boy transforming again caught the laughing cyborg's attention, still chuckling as he sat up to see what possibly funny form the boy had taken, giving a wide eyed look of horror as he saw the rear end of a small furry animal, the bushy tail with a touch of green and black stripes giving it away, as it aimed at him. "You wouldn't..."

* * *

"So what are we doing here, anyhow?" asked Raven curiously.

Terra looked at her pale companion and shrugged. "We should at least invest in some clothing that isn't part of our standard uniforms. I dunno about you, but I'm sure there's some rabid Terra-Hater Fanboys and Fangirls who would gleefully rip me apart for being Slade's Love-Toy. Or worse, rabid perverted Fanboys who would love to take advantage of two hot Titans."

"Eeew, disturbing thought RIGHT there," said Raven as they entered a clothing store.

"Oh, welcome!" exclaimed the girl at the front till. "It's not often we see some of the Teen Titans in here. Welcome to Jump Clothing."

"Hi," said Raven. "We need clothing for me and Terra."

"Oh of course! Melissa?" Another girl, a pale blonde girl looked up from the other side of the store. "Could you please help Miss Terra to the summer line of clothing?"

Raven followed the other store worker to a line of tops and pants. "Your complexion is rather unique so I'd recommend a mix of white and blue. Here, try these on." Said the girl as she placed several items into Raven's arms.

After an hour of trying on clothing, the pair left with a mix of new tops and pants and skirts. Terra grinned as she checked over her purchases. "Wonderful fifty percent discount for superheros."

Raven nodded as she hefted her bags. Passing by a bookstore, she paused momentarily to look in the window. "Hey, Terra. Star's in there."

Terra looked over through the large picture windows at the Tamaranian who sat in an easy chair, reading what appeared to be a very large and thick paperback book. At her side stood a tall pink-colored drink that she sipped from every so often.

"C'mon," said Terra, heading into the store.

Discretely picking up a pair of books from the shelves, the pair sat down in the loveseat that sat across from the easy chair. "Interesting?" asked Terra after a moment of feigning a sudden appearance.

A low giggle came from Starfire's throat as she held up her book. The front of the book was labeled with the words "The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy". "Rather good actually," she said softly.

"You okay? You seemed rather upset when you flew off," said Raven.

"It's not my new hormones playing havoc, that's for sure," said Starfire as she set the book aside and sipped at her pink drink. "I think the guys really don't care that I make an effort into keeping us on our toes."

"That's not true. Archive is doing his part, right?" said Terra.

"Yes, but there's the problem. We know what happens for all of Season 2 so naturally, we're taking things for granted, correct? But if you think about it, what's stopping the universe from being a meanie and changing everything on us now?" Starfire curled up in the easy chair, looking like a vulnerable girl. "We know what's going to happen, and we're powerless to adapt right now."

"Star… between all of us, who has the most handle on his or her powers?" said Raven. "Think about it. Robin can't fight his way out of a paper bag, Beastboy can change into the Unforgettable Blob of Animals if he stops concentrating, Cyborg is the avatar of overkill…"

"I have only the bare minimum of control," added Terra. "How many times have Impulse ran through valuable things and walls? And terrifyingly, we have no idea what could happen if Rae looses control."

"So you can see, you do have a role in all of this, not just being the odd man out, or odd girl out," finished Raven as she smiled. "You provide the stability, the major fighting force since you have the control we lack. Sure you're as whacked out as the rest of us, but there's no one we'd rather keep on our side. Besides, you're acting like a girl."

"I am not… er, I suppose I am, aren't I?" said Starfire with a blush. "So, what brings you two out here?"

"Clothes shopping," answered the girls in tandem. "Star, you need new clothing. Lest you want some kind of superpowered raping Fanboy coming at you."

"EEEEEW! Right, lead the way."

* * *

The sound of another cardboard cutout being thwacked in half ran through the training area, as Robin spun the staff in his hands slowly. After the comments about the team's lack of training, he had decided to work on that a bit, finally figuring out how to manage the training course's console and set it to something manageable for someone who was a novice when it came to martial arts. Over all, the skills his body had were coming back, although it was at a snails pace, but at least it was something.

Whacking two more cut outs, he tapped the trigger on the staff, shrinking it down and sliding it into his belt. Two hours was more then enough for one session though, and a grumbling stomach was quickly turning into an ache, as he walks up the path past more popping targets, towards the console.

"Raikun, how's it go...ing?" He said with a blink, as he looked farther onto the course. Impulse had joined him on the field, wanting to try and get a bit of a handle on his control over his speed. Thus, the field of shifting walls had been set to randomly raise and lower, with the idea of him avoiding running into, and more probably through, any of them.

Of course, given the state of some of the walls showing holes from the boy vibrating right through, some a couple times, it would seem he still had a ways to go...

"I'm good! Leave it running, I'm gonna try for another hour or so!" Impulse called, giving a cheerful wave.

"All right..." Turning his own program off, turning a timer on and setting it for an hour. "Take it easy." He said, turning and walking back and into the tower.

Finally arriving in the commonly used living room, of the tower, Robin slipped to the fridge and rummaging through the remains of the food. Finally settling on some of the left over pizza, he jumped over the couch and plopped down, munching a bit as he thought.

'This should be fun... Needing to try and learn in a few days, what it took the originals years to figure out... At least the bodies seem to be carrying some of the memories in them, so to speak...' Laying his head back, the Diaries leader thought for a moment, taking a glance around make sure he was right, about no one being around. 'Wonder if I finally have some better freetime for more computer surfing?'

The thought quickly vanished, as a crash came from one of the hallways, a red and green blur running through one door and out the other.

"Get back here, Ryan!" Came a yellow from the next figure, flashes of gray and blue seen through a can of tomato juice being pored over the metallic body, merely adding to the already red coating he seemed to have, as Cyborg stomped through following the metamorph's path.

Robin gave the pair a deadpanned look as he watched them run by upside down. "So much for computer time... Oh well, there is always later..." He muttered to himself, as he slowly stood up, not caring too much to hurry after, with the smell of what happened earlier still trailing the pair.

* * *

"Wonderful fifty percent discount," said Starfire.

"You mean SEVENTY FIVE," corrected Terra with a grin as the girls got back into the main area of the shopping mall. "How did you manage to get that guy to give us such a huge discount?"

"I've seen the look on his face on MANY of my friends in real life when they talk about how hot Starfire is," said Starfire as she adjusted the bags in her hand. They were feather-light, something she suspected her strength accounted for. "I just acted cute and innocent and he just coughed up a massive discount."

"We should see about getting that kind of discount at the food court," reasoned Raven. "Three hot women ganging up on one helpless teenage boy? We could practically get food for free."

"Amen to that," said Starfire with a smile. And then there was a tremendous crash and screaming. "Or not."

Looking at each other, Starfire grabbed their bags and ran into the nearest store. "Hold onto these," she said to the wigged out teenager behind the counter of the Blue Banana. Running back out, she grinned and cracked her knuckles. "Lets see who's being an ass and interrupting our meal."

Rounding the corner, the three girls sized up their opponents who sized them back. "Well look here," sneered the little green clad mecha-freak. "The Titan dipwads."

"Mammoth, Jinx and Gizmo. Of course," said Raven. "Since when did you get out of jail?"

"Leave? We never got there," retorted Jinx. "And as for you three, I foresee some bad luck coming your way."

"How should we split them up?" asked Terra, her hands clenching.

"Take Gizmo," said Starfire. "Raven, take Jinx. Magic must defeat magic. I have big and ugly since I can go toe to toe with him."

"Right. Hey Gizmo, your fly is open!" Shouted Terra moments before she let her powers fly, ripping out the ground below him. Gizmo made a "whoof" sound as he was knocked into the air.

Raven ran at Jinx who proceeded to fire sparkling bolts of pink energy at her. Ducking one and dodging away from the second, she chanted under her breath her magic words and her hands glowed with black and white magic. Jinx fired another and Raven used her powers to leap high up and over the sorceress as she fired several bursts of magic into the ground around Jinx. Jinx smirked. "Learned a few new tricks, eh Raven?"

"You have no idea," said Raven, feeling the thrill of adrenaline rush through her body, sharpening her mind. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"

"Stand still!" Grunted Mammoth as he punched at Starfire who blocked and weaved through his attacks. A mighty punch smashed the ground and Starfire stumbled backwards. Mammoth went in for the kill and one of her legs came up in a mighty kick that knocked him several meters into the nearest Orange Julius.

Cracking his jaw and checking for damage, he grinned. "You're not bad, for a girl."

"Well this girl is about to own your pansy ass," said Starfire cockily as she slammed her fist into the ground and ripped the linoleum out of the floor. Mammoth was blinded by the flying piece of linoleum and suddenly, was sucker punched into the counter. The counter smashed inwards.

"Ooooh, I like a girl with moxie," grinned Mammoth as he got out of the debris. "C'mon, gimme another."

"Gladly."

"You're sloppy," grunted Jinx as she fired several bursts of magic, destabilizing the ground around Raven who leapt away from the attack. "What happened to that calm that you normally have?"

"Oh it's around," said Raven, returning fire. "In fact, lets see what kind of calm I can produce."

Calling out all of her control, she ripped the pipes from the ground and wound them around Jinx who struggled helplessly. "Game over," Raven said calmly before knocking her unconscious with a well-placed punch.

"You can't hit me, you can't hit me," taunted Gizmo as he flew circles around Terra who had gotten increasingly frustrated with the way the speedy little jerk had moved.

"Well maybe I don't need to," said Terra as she focused her powers.

Gizmo made a face at her and all of a sudden, slammed into a big stone stop sign that Terra had created. He slid off the sign and passed out with nary a whimper.

"I like you better like this," grinned Mammoth as he held up Starfire with one giant hand. "You're cute when you're acting like a guy."

"Well, then let me reiterate the fact!" smirked Starfire as she brought up a foot.

Mammoth's face went an unappealing shade of red and green as he collapsed on the ground, holding himself. "What… what was that? I thought you Titans were fighting fair?"

"To be honest," said Starfire as she lifted him up and brought him close. "We're feeling a bit off today." And with a mighty heave, slammed him into the ground hard enough to knock the teenager out.

In the ensuring silence, Terra grinned and said, "Anyone for free Julius?"

* * *

"The day is saved, the girls fought the enemy and won and here's to getting free food."

"To free food," chorused the three female Titans as they clinked their paper cups together in a toast.

Damage had been kept to a bare minimum, having done a job well noted for the Titans. With the top students of the H.I.V.E. in police custody, they had retreated to the Jump City Pizza and took their usual spot on the front end rooftop table.

"I'd say that was a most interesting afternoon," said Raven as she sipped her soda. "Between Plasmus in the morning and fighting the H.I.V.E. in the afternoon, we did pretty well for superheros who can't control our powers."

"I think it's somewhat of a muscle memory thing as well," theorized Starfire as she sipped her soda. "Our bodies remember how to use the powers, so it would just take some time working things out."

"Yeah, you're right. I know Terra in the show definitely didn't have as much control as I did during the fight," said Terra. "Eeew, Star, mustard on pizza?"

"I was curious to see why canon Star liked it," said Starfire, taking a bite of the pizza that had been dipped into mustard. She then nibbled at the end and her eyes widened.

"Well?" asked Raven after a moment of big shiny Starfire eyes.

Starfire blushed and pitched her voice extremely low. "The only words coming to me are very dirty Tamaranian words that could denote physical pleasure in many manners."

"I'll take that as a 'It's Better Than Chocolate and Sex'," said Terra with a wild smirk and the girls laughed.

"Excuse me, Miss Starfire?"

Starfire turned around to look at a young man standing behind her, laden with shopping bags. "You kind of left these at my store and since they're cleaning the mall, I didn't want them to get thrown out..."

"Oh, our stuff!" exclaimed Starfire as she relieved the young man of their clothing. "Thank you."

"Yeah, I had forgotten we left our stuff there," said Raven as she took her own stuff. "Thanks."

"Um, I hope this won't sound stupid or anything but... well, actually..." trailed off the teenager. "Um... would you care for a drink or anything?"

Terra hid a smile and Raven fought down giggles. Starfire stood there, dumbstruck before the teenager said, "Sorry, I didn't want to waste your time and all."

"No, wait. Sure, pull up a chair." Said Starfire, startling her fellow Titans in earshot.

"Really?" asked the teenager.

Starfire nodded, smiling widely. "It's the least we can do after your store got destroyed."

"Thanks."

* * *

"Where were you three?" Asked Archive curiously as the three walked into the Tower. He looked at their bags and shook his head. "Naw, I can figure this out by myself."

"It's been a long day," said Raven, stretching out. "I think I'm going to turn in."

"Same here," said Terra with a yawn.

"You two go to bed. I'm gonna check up on the computer. You know, just in case." Said Starfire.

Floating over to the computer system, Starfire easily accessed the scans, setting it to a full sweep of the city. As she tapped the side of the computer keyboard, a voice startled her. "Shaun."

"Archive," greeted Starfire as he walked up behind her. "You're getting good at the whole Bat-Entrance."

Archive raised an eyebrow before continuing. "I'd just like to say that the guys were acting pretty insensitive today. We have no idea how long we're going to be like this, so I asked them to behave."

"That's all right," said Starfire. "It wouldn't be the Guild without them being who they are, right? And besides, I think things'll work out just fine."

'Scan Complete' the screen reported as Starfire brought up the map of the city. Then she scowled. "Did someone turn off the alarm on this?"

"I know Canis was screwing around with it," said Archive. "Why?"

"Cause we have an alert, that has been blinking for the last twenty minutes!" Starfire shot out of her chair, yelling "Rise and shine people, we have a situation! Canis, get your ass out of that room and move! Ryan, pants! Now!"

Robin smiled as he turned on the alarm and checked the location of the situation. "I think everything's going to be fine now."

"Die, you stupid Tamaranian!"

"BITE ME!"

Robin sweatdropped as the sound of sonic cannon fire rocked the Tower. "Guh..."

* * *

"Now this, is living!" The black figure yelled as he streaked along the rooftops. With the nighttime covering him nicely, the new Red X finally stopped at the corner of the pizza parlor the Teen Titans cartoon showed, balancing on the corner end above the street, as he looked over the sleeping city.

"If this is a dream, I'm content to stay sleeping for now." Red said, as he looked down at the gloves, admiring the X patterns on both sides of his hands. "Although, I wonder what muse thought up the idea of someone stealing the X suit from the Titans…" Reaching up, as he continued to think, he stroked the skull on the mask, outlining, as if still trying to get used to the changes.

Stepping back onto the balcony of the pizza place, the cloaked figure plopped into one of the chairs nonchalantly, giving a loud laugh. "But still, this is a dream come true! Fit body, power suit with a built in teaching program, and a computer that almost has a brain of it's own! It's almost hard to believe my subconscious could think all of this up! I wonder if I can download some J-pop on that thing?" X chuckled a little as he tried to think of just what he wanted to do first, out of all the options.

A loud crash brought the brain storming to an end, making Red stand up from his chair. Walking over to the edge, he looked up and down the street a moment, finally finding a place that wasn't closed. Leaping over the railing, the black figure landed in a crouch, mentally gushing over the suit a bit again, as he slipped closer, reading the video rental sign as he slipped up to one of the large windows in front of the business.

"And that, my little tribble, is why you must be destroyed!" Glancing in the window, Red recognized the figures inside, one of them a brown haired girl who was the rental places attendant, but the other was the one who had the masked man a little worried. While not too intimidating in his portly state and bad, almost Trek infringing , wardrobe, Control Freak wasn't exactly someone to dismiss casually. At least, not with that controller in his hand. After all, the Fanboy had held the entire Teen Titans group for at least a quarter of the episode, before being stopped and the real point of that episodes story started being shown.

As the giant television started towards the defenseless girl, X looked around anxiously. 'But the Titan's showed up at this point, right after the corny tribble line… But if they were part of the whole body swapping…' A glance back in showed the tendrils from the TV had reached the girl, holding her up by her arms, although thankfully not touching the electrified tips to her body. 'Then it means no last minute rescue, unless…'

* * *

While weird occurrences weren't exactly old news in Jump city, with the Teen Titans living nearby, having one of said moments happen to you was something young Katherine had ever thought would happen. Especially when it was involving some super dork with an obsession with the Trek movies. If not for the giant TV he had taken control of, she would have just laughed herself silly.

"And now, we're gonna reenact a moment from one of my favorite animes…" Katherine blinked as the thick wires from the television wrapped around her arms, lifting her up, with a couple more threatening their electric tips. "Urosu…" Control Freak was cut off as the tentacles were suddenly cut, dropping the girl on her rear unceremoniously. While the TV creature seemed to be groaning in pain, the portly villain and rental girl both looked to the entrance of the store, seeing a caped figure in black standing in the doorway, a skull covering most of the face of the mask.

"Mixing anime AND Trek? Now that's just bad taste in dorkdoms…" The figure shook his head, obviously not taking the situation very seriously.

Control Freak scoffed as he looked the lean figure up and down. "And who are you, a bad Batman stand in?"

The caped figure crossed his arms, one hand raising to tap his chin as he seemed to think the question over. "Ironically, that's not too far off. But you can just call me Red X. I mean, if the symbol fits…" Red said, tapping the X on the forehead of the skull.

"Well, Fed X. You've come to the wrong place. I'm Control Freak, and this is my world!" The would-be villain pointed his controller at a couple of cardboard figures from a couple movies, before switching and zapping a rack of tapes, turning it into a similar monster to the television that was still whimpering over it's tentacles.

Red X yawned, covering his mouth before waving his hand in the air dismissively. "And I thought my jokes were bad… Com'n tubby, hasn't TV taught you better quips then that?"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about my jokes. Get him!" Control Freak yelled, as he ordered the newly animated constructs into action.

The black figure didn't wait for long, running forward to avoid the shelf monster as well as the cardboard samurai and cloaked monster that had tried to flank him. Ignoring the annoyed noise coming from Control Freak, Red slipped his arms under the still surprised girl, before running towards the door to the back of the business. "This party just got a little nasty. Let me handle to uber dorkus, while you hide back there, all right?" Watching the brunette nod and slip into the employees area, Red turned his head back to see that the constructs seemed to be walling him off, while the tubby bad guy was trying to get the television back into action.

Red X spun around, aiming his palms at the cardboard stand ups, firing a pair of X's to pin them against the wall. As his arms lowered, the shadow of the shelf loomed over as it tried to slam into him, barely diving out of the way into another of the aisles. 'The Titan's make this look easy…' Red thought to himself, as he picked himself up, watching the shelf monster try to get up without much success. 'But then, even if this guy did surprise them enough to give them a small run, they are trained for this kind of thing…'

Turning to slip to the opposite end of the aisle, Red's eyes went wide feeling his legs stopping moving. Looking down, he gave a small growl as the lively tapes seemed to pop up from nowhere, wrapping around his legs quickly. Despite struggling, it wasn't long before the black figure was completely wrapped in the tape, being lifted back towards the center of the room.

"Ha! So, you thought you could fight me, an arch-nemesis of the Teen Titans? Maybe when Russian's fly!" Maniacal laughter came out of the brown haired man, before the turning back to the door the girl had escaped through. "Now, my little tribble, where were we…"

Just as Control Freak aimed the controller at the door, to make his way through, a 'shink' like noise seemed to ring out behind him, followed by a lot of quick ripping. Turning his head, the overweight villain looked straight into the x on the bottom of one of Red X's boots as he kicked him in the head, knocking him onto his butt.

"Now these I like…" Red commented as he stood over the dazed villain, the X's on the back of his hands having enlarged to the point of making two point into long claws past his fists. "Kinda makes me feel all stabby or something." Making a ringing noise by stroking the claws against one another quickly, Red crouched down, tapping the backs of the pointed weapons against Control Freak's chubby chin. "Now then, how about handing that controller over, before I decide I've been way too nice…"

Not giving Freak much of a choice, the black figure snatched the remote with his free hand quickly, letting the claws slip back into their original size, as he looked it over. Finally finding the off button, he quickly removed the animation from the various creatures that had been brought to life, before turning to Control Freak again. "You do know, too much TV is bad for you, don't you?"

"I do believe that's my line…"

Red turned his head slightly, recognizing the voice. "Well, I was thinking you guys took a vacation…" turning his body halfway, so he didn't have his back to Freak of the other party, the skull face turned towards the assembled Titans. Although seeing Terra and someone looking like a miniature Flash made the masked figure blink for a moment. "Well, this isn't what I was expecting…"

The faces on the group of heroes seemed to be in the same state as they all had their eyes on Red X, instead of the villain they had apparently been expecting to face. "We could say the same thing…" Robin said with a surprised look. "So wanna tell us exactly who you are?"

"Like I told chubby, you can call me Red X." The figure said with a small bow, deciding it was easier sticking to the identity of the mask then the one he went back in his world. "But since you're here, you can take the uber dork into the police."

Red slipped the remote into the back of his belt, giving a flippant salute. "Until next time, Titans." A small beep went off as the other hand tapped the belt buckle, turning the black figure invisible.

The Titans gave a group blink as the figure of Red X disappeared from sight. "Tell me I didn't just see that…" Beast Boy groaned, as his body shifted into a monkey for a moment, scratching at his still human head.

"Well, you did." Raven said she walked over the destruction that had been caused before the team's arrival. "And this is certainly fits into what Star talked about before…"

Cyborg nodded in agreement as he sat down on the front counter, grabbing one of the candy bars and chewing on it. "The only time I remember seeing the Red X suit was the episode where Robin was wearing it. But if someone else has it… Wait, Shaun talked about what?"

"That canon may be slipping out the window…" Terra stated plainly as Robin stood over the grumbling Control Freak, slipping a pair of cuffs around his wrists. "While we've had small differences in what's been going on, not counting me and Impulse being involved, this is definitely something that's bridged off the episodes completely."

"Which means, our knowing the series is slowly equally squat..." Robin added in, as he crossed his arms, standing over the pouting villain.

Starfire floated over to the door, knocking softly. "Hello! You're welcome to come out now, the baddy's been bagged!" She called out, watching the door crack, before the brown haired attendant slipped out to see the situation was under control. "Sorry we're a little late, but our alarm's volume got turned down…" The green eyed alien shot a glance back at Cyborg, who was happily munching on another candy bar.

Opening an eye, as he noticed the looked were coming his way, Cyborg shook his hands in front of him. "Hey, it wasn't me! I'm still not even one hundred percent with my weapons, let alone the tower's systems!"

Star floated back and up to Cyborg's height, arching a brow. "Well, if you didn't, then who did?"

"OOOH, 'When Tern's Attack'! Now this is my kind of video! Now, where is BB's card…."

A collective sigh came at the statement, as Raven collected up Control Freak in a large, black band around his body. Lifting the villain, the collection of heroes started filing out of the video store, as Beast Boy ran up to the rental girl with the video. "Can I get a rent without my card?" The green boy asked, his arms changing into octopus tentacles for a moment, before Starfire grabbed him by the back of the shirt, carrying him out with the tape in hands.


End file.
